BDSM: What Is It? What Are Its Boundaries? Guide for Beginners

Do you know the movie " Fifty Shades of Grey " that became a hot topic in SM play?

A story about a female college student getting acquainted with an elite man and forming an SM master-servant relationship. Actually, this act is one of sexual play called BDSM.

If you like vanilla sex, you may wonder "What's good?" So, what does BDSM mean? This article is going to introduce it to you.

What Is BDSM?

BDSM stands for Bondage, Discipline, Sadism and Masochism. BDSM is a broad term for sexual play and refers to any sexual preference other than common (vanilla) sexual acts that take place on a bed.

For example, if you have been tied up by your boyfriend or have tied up your boyfriend, you may be unconsciously doing light BDSM acts.

So, what is BDSM specifically?

Let's take a look at what the "B", "D", "S", and "M" mean and how they are involved in.

B (Bondage) - What Is Bondage?

To be bound or restrained in order to satisfy sexual desires. If your partner cannot move, you can use ropes, tapes, stockings, ties, or handcuffs.

Among the restraints, there is also a play of controlling the opponent by setting rules and punishments. For example, playing with a collar is a play based on a master-slave relationship.

In such binding cases, it is an iron rule to obtain prior consent before acting.

D(Discipline) - What Is Discipline?

To create a master-servant relationship between two people. It is to clarify the position of the side that controls the opponent and the side that is controlled.

There are various ways to conclude a contract, such as by phone, email, or verbally, and it seems that overseas, the word “switch” means that it is possible to be in the position of both a ruler and a subordinate. You decide from the beginning whether you are a ruler or a subordinate, but there are times when you suddenly want to change the position from ruler - subordinate, so keep in mind that there is also an option called "switch".

S(Sadism) M(Masochism) - What Is Sadism/Masochism?

SM is widely recognized. It’s a sadist who feels pleasure by bullying the other person and a masochist who feels pleasure by being bullied.

As a bit of trivia, Sadist (S) is named after the French aristocrat Marquis de Sade around the 19th century. He spent a long time in prison for repeated violent sexual acts, but the episode is crazy.

Sade commits crimes such as,'' Deceiving and assaulting a widow who was begging on Easter Day (Arcueil Incident),'' and,'' Having an orgy in a brothel in Marseille and drinking a dangerous aphrodisiac to a prostitute.'' In the brothel case, the death sentence was given for " attempted poisoning and anal sex ". He was imprisoned at the Château de Vincennes in 1778 and imprisoned in the Bastille in 1784.

Also Read: What is Findom? Guide for a Safe Findom Relationship >>

Boundaries That Beginners Should Be Aware of to Enjoy BDSM

When you actually enjoy BDSM with your partner, it's important to check how the other person feels.

Especially for beginners, it is a good idea to be aware of the following points so that you do not end up hurting the other person as a result of overdoing your good intentions.

Consensus

First of all, you can get an agreement with your partner to see if there is any misunderstanding.

There are various means of agreement, such as contracts, emails, and verbal communication, but it is important to understand the sexual desires of the other party and then carry them out.

Also, even if the other party has agreed, you have the right to request cancellation if you feel uncomfortable during the process.

Safety

BDSM sometimes has extreme acts. For example, there are acts that hurt your partner during play, such as spanking, but you really shouldn't hurt them. When strangling or binding, it is important to collect information in advance and then implement it. Also, if you're passive, tell your partner what you're good at and not good at BDSM so you don't feel bad.

Choose safe words

There is also a case where you get excited by being attacked with words, but you need to be a little careful with words that hurt the opponent's spirit or remarks that have no morals.

So, ''what should I do when I really hate it?'' It's okay to say "Stop!" and ask for a pause. A little problem here is that there are people who are happy with the refusal to "stop". Even though you really don't like it and say "stop", there is a possibility that the act will become radical. So, make signs and passwords so that you can understand each other when you first get tired of it.

For example, if you really want them to stop, you might say, "stop it seriously"

Some people seem to inform the other party of their limits according to the color of the traffic light.

Green: I want you to continue as it is

Yellow: You are close to the limit

Red: I want you to stop immediately

"Healthy" Partner

Some of the BDSM 'D' rulers have selfish ideas. Be careful not to get caught by people who think abnormally, so-called dangerous people. A healthy partner is responsible and has good judgment. Choose a partner who respects you and has self-control. Forcing someone to have sex with you when you don't want it is sexual abuse or rape. It's important to be careful not to lose your judgment so you can draw the line between crime and play.

Also Read: Mutual Beneficial Arrangement | Definition & How-to Guide >>

Conclusion

If you don't have a partner, make sure that the man who calls out to you is "healthy".

If you have a partner but are a beginner, try to get used to it little by little while having a good conversation with your partner instead of suddenly carrying out extreme play.

At first, it's a good idea to start with fewer hurdles such as light spanking, sweet bites, loose handcuffs, and cosplay.

BDSM can be addictive if it's a perfect match.

BDSM tends to be regarded as "perverted" because there are many extreme plays, but the three major human desires are sleep, appetite, and libido, right?

What's wrong with being honest with your libido? There is no greater happiness than having someone who fulfills your sexual desires.